


Something Different

by Buffintruda



Series: Aro Spec Awareness Week [5]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Aromantic Character, Asexual Character, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-21 23:14:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6061717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buffintruda/pseuds/Buffintruda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One of Gaius's excuses for Merlin's absense backfires when Arthur keeps trying to find out who Merlin likes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something Different

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week.

 

 Merlin had always been different. From when he was a baby, naturally performing magic that should have taken months to learn, to now, a manservant to the king, with a great destiny ahead of him. During that time, Merlin had realized that different wasn't bad, as much as everybody else would have liked him to believe. Different was special, for better and worse. And magic wasn't the only difference it could be applied to.

His louder, less respectful personality, for instance. It had gotten him into trouble on more than one occasion, such as his first meeting with Arthur, but it was also what separated him from other people in the king's eyes. It had saved Arthur's life uncountable times and besides that, being himself, instead of the usual unquestioningly obedient, subservient servant, was what probably led them to their unusually close relationship, which had become even closer of late. While Arthur had been willing to risk his life for that of Merlin's since soon after they met, it was only more recently that he started showing his feelings more, expressing care and concern more easily whenever Merlin did something risky and dangerous, valuing his opinion on things both big and small, and teasing him less harshly.

Being king was good for him, Merlin thought as he straightened Arthur's bed sheets. Of course, that did not stop the man from being a prat at times. Like now.

"Oh, come on, Merlin. There must be _some_ girl who's caught your eye," Arthur said over his breakfast.

"There isn't." And there really wasn't, was there? Even Freya, who he once thought he loved. Looking back, he wondered if he hadn't been more in love with her dependency on him, and that fact that there was someone his age who he didn't have to hide his magic around than the actual girl. He admired her, of course, and mourned her death, but he no longer thought he liked her the way so many other men like women. Merlin hadn't ever been particularly interested in sex or romance, so he had never really thought about it before, always having been too busy with work, or saving the kingdom.

"What's the matter? Embarrassed? You can tell me, Merlin. It's not Guinevere, is it?"

"What? No!"

"Why else would you not tell me?"

"Because there isn't a girl. Honestly, I don't know where you got the ridiculous notion from. I don't have time for romance, with all the work you give me," Merlin said with no little amount of exasperation.

"Don't lie. Gaius told me." Arthur smirked at him knowingly, satisfied that he caught Merlin out in his falsehood. "Your workload seems to be no problem, seeing as you _didn't do it_ yesterday so you could see her. I was hoping you would tell me on your own, but it seems you are too stubborn."

"Oh." So _that_ was what this was all about. The previous day, there had been yet _another_ magical creature threatening the kingdom that nobody else knew about and only Merlin could stop. And, like so many other times, the beast wasn't considerate enough to wait until after he had finished all of his chores, so Merlin had to leave them unfinished in order to save the day. Arthur must have asked Gaius why his servant was slacking off, and Gaius, who seemed incapable of making decent excuses, appeared to have told the king that Merlin was seeing some girl. At least Gaius hadn't said he was at the tavern this time.

"Yeah. ' _Oh.'_ Since you didn't do anything yesterday, it seems like you have twice as much stuff to do today."

" _Arthur_ ," Merlin complained.

" _Merlin,_ " Arthur mocked. "I would get to it."

"Yes, Sire," Merlin said sarcastically as he left the room.

...

Later that night, Merlin was serving King Arthur and Queen Guinevere their dinner.

"Arthur tells me you found a girl you liked," Gwen said, her eyes filled with mirth, though it was a kinder sort than her husband's. "It's nice to hear that. I don't think I've known you to be in love before."

"I haven't!"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "What about Morgana?"

" _Morgana?"_ Gwen exclaimed at the same time Merlin spoke:

"That was just you making false assumptions based on circumstantial evidence!"

"You gave her _flowers._ But we're not talking about then. We're talking about now. And if you weren't visiting a girl, then where were you yesterday?" Arthur asked, confident he had Merlin cornered now.

"I was-" Merlin stopped. He didn't know what to say. Certainly not the truth. He contemplated saying the tavern, but that was just as bad.

As he fumbled for something to say, Arthur smirked at him. Even Gwen was trying not to grin.

He glared at both of them.

"Come on, Merlin. It happens to everybody. It's about time it happened to you. Even you couldn't escape it forever. And you've teased me enough about Gwen. What's her name?"

Merlin's glare intensified, meeting only amusement from both of them. He gestured in frustration and stormed out of the room, muffled laughter following him out.

...

"You couldn't think of a better excuse," Merlin accused Gaius as he entered their rooms.

The old man peered at him over a bowl of soup. "You wanted me to stop telling Arthur you were at the tavern. It was the only other story he would believe."

Merlin made a sound that expressed all of his annoyance and irritation. "It didn't get me out of extra work today. Arthur and Gwen were pestering me, asking about who this girl was."

"I suppose I should stick to the tavern story next time then," Gaius stated drily.

"At least then, Arthur doesn't bother me throughout the day about it," Merlin sighed as he sat down at the table, dishing out and starting his own supper. "I just wish Arthur didn't have to believe all the untrue things I've used to cover up my lies." This was not a new desire.

"Perhaps someday," Gaius said, which was along the lines of his usual response. "I'm sorry, Merlin."

"I know." This was said with a quieter, calmer tone than all the things said before, letting the physician know that no grudge was held for the lie and the resulting difficulties.

...

"I hope we didn't upset you too much with our teasing last night," Gwen told Merlin the next day, scanning him for any remaining signs of hurt or soreness.

"It's fine," Merlin said as convincingly as he could, not wanting to be pulled into another conversation of the likes of the previous day.

Perhaps sensing his unwillingness to talk, Gwen only said, "I'm glad you found someone. You deserve to be happy," before she smiled at him and left.

Merlin stared at her retreating back with slight puzzlement. Why did Gwen think he needed someone else? He was happy as he was. Life was fine. Not perfect, of course, but good enough. And none of his problems could be solved by romance. It would be nice to have someone he didn't need to lie to, but what were the chances of his hypothetical lover being someone he could reveal himself to? He knew Gwen only meant the best, but it still confused him. He knew that both Arthur and Gwen were happier reunited than they were apart, and that that was the kind of happiness Gwen wished for him, but he hadn't lost someone to begin with. He had never fallen in love with someone, so therefore, he wasn't missing it.

...

Merlin made it through his day without anyone else mentioning his fictional romance, except for one more occasion when Arthur asked for her name, and Gwen told him to leave Merlin alone.

"Thank you," Merlin told her, once Arthur left the room.

"I understand if you don't want to talk about it. The teasing was fun at first, but it's gone on long enough."

"There's nothing to talk about," Merlin grumbled, tired of repeating himself.

"Is it a man who you're seeing?" Gwen asked suddenly.

He looked at her in surprise. "No. Why would you think that?"

"I just thought it might be why you were so defensive and didn't want to tell Arthur who it was. Ever since the Lamia, I thought maybe... and you never seemed interested in girls... but never mind." Gwen trailed off, her cheeks reddening.

Merlin recalled the Lamia, and how she failed to put him under her spell, despite affecting every other man she had encountered. He had never given Gwen a satisfactory response as to why that was the case, being unable to tell her that it probably was because he was magical. It was a logical conclusion, then, to assume he was only interested in men.

"I'm not interested in anyone," Merlin said truthfully. He met Gwen's eyes. "I really wasn't seeing anyone that day. I was uh, in the tavern," he finished awkwardly.

Gwen raised an eyebrow skeptically. When Merlin opened his mouth to insist on the truth, she interrupted, saying, "No, I believe you weren't seeing anyone. It's your own business, what you do, and I'm sure you and Gaius have a good reason for lying about it, but I know you don't go to the tavern."

Merlin smiled and shrugged guiltily, knowing better than to continue to try and fool her. "Sorry," he said, grateful for her trust in him.

"If you ever need to talk to anyone, I'd be willing to listen," Gwen told him. "In the meantime, I wish you luck on convincing Arthur to give up the subject."

Merlin groaned and buried his face into his hands.


End file.
